Just in case you were thinking that this whole STIDT is a one-off thing, I'm here to prove you wrong. But before I go about doing just that, here's a little glimpse at my third-first day in the office:
The Gods of Wellness finally paid heed to my plight, so their blessings, coupled with a 1.5x dose of MediNait, knocked me out for most of last night. I definitely feel eighty percent more human today. I now sound like a sixty year old grandmother, which is a marked improvement. So today was the first time I spent the entire day, and then some, at work. Based on my first impressions, I can tell you that everyone is SUPER NICE. I cannot emphasize that enough. One of my coworkers spent the better part of his day just going over the project with me, taking pains to print out documents, and ignoring the hacking and hawing. I honestly was just expecting him to hand me a bunch of documents and asking me to review them, but he really took the time to make sure I had a good overview of what I was getting into. Next up, lunch…
Everyone here is aware of my love affair with food, and the I know many of you are surprised about the lack of food mentions here. But there's a good reason - I've just been having soup and salad since I arrived here. I can't taste anything, so there's no point in wasting good food on my tasteless taste buds for now. Anyway, here's the thing about living in a German speaking region - everything, including the cafeteria menu, is in German! The cafeteria is HUGE, with many, many options for lunch, none of which I understood. Luckily, yesterday I went for lunch with a German speaker, who was instrumental in ensuring that I knew what I was consuming. Today, I decided to be Dora The Explorer and went for lunch all by myself. By the time I got to the cafeteria, Dora had fled and the 60yr old grandmother had returned. As the time grew closer and closer for me to make a selection, I abandoned all pride, turned around, and asked the guy behind me in my raspy, grandmotherly voice, "Excuse me, do you speak German?". "Yes, I do", he replied. After mentally falling at his feet in gratitude, I asked if he could kindly translate the menu for me in English. Thankfully, he did, and I was able to have rice and a dosa type thingy with curry for lunch. I crashed someone else's lunch party and butted in their private conversations, but they were kind enough to let me join them and even waited for me to finish my lunch and left with me. See what I mean by SUPER NICE now? I also had a drinks thing with everyone on the floor, but more on that tomorrow.
Anyway, back to STIDIT. I'm not going to post one everyday, but every now and then, when they become too much even for me, I need to share. Lucky for you, today is the day. So, as I mentioned earlier, one of my coworkers spent a lot of time with me today. What I neglected to mention is that he asked me, "So do you have a folder (on the network)?" and I , due to my mental problems, heard, "So, do you have a home?" Now, I know home and folder don't rhyme. Intellectually, spiritually, psychologically, and emotionally, I know this. But somehow, there was a disconnect, as there often is, between my brain and my mouth. So I went off on a five minute monologue about my new apartment, where it was, how much I liked it, etc. As I paused to take a deep breath, he replied, "Uh..I was asking if you have a folder on the network so I can copy these files over there for you." Even though I am not White, my face turn almost red at my gaffe. But he was kind and talked to me about the apartment for a bit.
Then, then this happened: He was showing me something on the monitor, and he got the message "Your computer is shutting down…" He was baffled at the cause and did NOT understand what was happening. I had a sick feeling that I had something to do with this. He started looking for his CPU, and sure enough, the CPU was on the floor, right next to my…foot. I had accidentally kicked the Off button and initiated the shut down! I don't think he realized that it was me and blamed the computer, as we often do, for being stupid. I wholeheartedly and enthusiastically agreed with him on the computer's lack of intelligence. But deep down, I knew it was me. And that knowledge fills me with shame. But I can't help it, my stupidity is genetic and hereditary. Being ashamed of it would be like being ashamed of being born with something - it's out of your control. You can only accept it and move on, which is exactly what I ended up doing. Oh well, sooner or later, even the people here will have to know that I do stupid things on a daily basis. The sooner they find out about it, the better I think!
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
STIDT: First Edition
I promise not to make this whole blog about my mucus, but really, who isn't missing the irony here? I was perfectly fine for three months back in NY - snow, wind, thunderstorms - nothing had the power to make me reach for Nyquil. And the minute I land here, I get sick. I had such wonderful dreams of making a splashy entrance at work with my new suits and my new haircut. Instead, I end up going in hacking and hawing and sounding worse than Betty White. The group here was probably expecting a 20-something yr old Business Analyst and instead got stuck with an 80yr old sounding crazywoman. Oh well, life is full of disappointments, so whatchagonnado?
So here's another life lesson: Nyquil's brother is good, but not as effective as the original. It's more like a step-brother actually. MediNait didn't knock me out for 8 hours like Nyquil usually does, so by 1am, I was wide awake. Unlike the previous two nights though, this time I made myself fall asleep by promising myself Hugh Jackman dreams. The sleep itself was fitful, but I did manage to sleep for the first time in 48 hours, which is great. I did, however, have to pull a Britney Spears and do a wardrobe change in the middle of the night when my fever broke and I woke up drenched in sweat. Joy. The good news is that I think my sneezing and coughing has improved by .0000001 second/cough (I think), so it's only a matter of time before I'm fully recovered, right?
As you all also know, I have been known to say and do dumb things every now and then (read: everyday). In fact, a certain someone had a running list of "Top 10 things Jigz said" in college. Usually I limit myself to 1 dumb thing a day, but jetlag + sickness = party time for dumbastic activities. So without further ado, here is the first edition of the Stupid Things I Did Today, known from here on out as STIDT:
- Sat at someone else's desk instead of mine for 10 min, earning confused looks from everyone around me. Eventually I realized what I had done and apologized to the legitimately confused look-givers.
- Someone tried to take a look at my ID to write down my name correctly, but for some reason, I offered her my palm - I still have no idea why. I also couldn't understand why she wanted my ID. So every time she'd ask for my ID, I'd give her my palm. This continued for a minute before I realized what I was doing and finally offered her my ID so she could spell my name correctly while writing it down.
- Jammed the printer on my non-first first day, delaying everyone else's document printing.
- Tried to self-translate the vending machine instructions that were in German and ended up paying 1.60sF without getting any M&Ms in return.
- At 1am, when I couldn't sleep, I went to the lobby to ask for some salt so I could do salt-water gargles. Unfortunately, the receptionist's English wasn't very good, so I had to explain Salt as follows: White, powder, and doing the salt shaker imitation. Needless to say, his eyes grew wider and wider every time I said or did that. Finally, I pretended that there was breakfast in front of me and I was adding salt and pepper to it, and I kept saying, "Food, salt, and pepper", and pretended to pour salt and pepper on my plate simultaneously. He finally understood and asked housekeeping to bring me...Pepper.
Since I look like a horror story these days, I came back to the hotel at around three in the afternoon. The sun was out so I decided to explore the area a bit. The exploration lasted all of five minutes, after which the hawing and the sneezing won and I came back to the hotel room and crashed for a couple of hours, which mercifully limited STIDT to just the above acts. But fear not, tomorrow is another day. The STIDT list will do nothing but keep on growing and growing and growing...
So here's another life lesson: Nyquil's brother is good, but not as effective as the original. It's more like a step-brother actually. MediNait didn't knock me out for 8 hours like Nyquil usually does, so by 1am, I was wide awake. Unlike the previous two nights though, this time I made myself fall asleep by promising myself Hugh Jackman dreams. The sleep itself was fitful, but I did manage to sleep for the first time in 48 hours, which is great. I did, however, have to pull a Britney Spears and do a wardrobe change in the middle of the night when my fever broke and I woke up drenched in sweat. Joy. The good news is that I think my sneezing and coughing has improved by .0000001 second/cough (I think), so it's only a matter of time before I'm fully recovered, right?
As you all also know, I have been known to say and do dumb things every now and then (read: everyday). In fact, a certain someone had a running list of "Top 10 things Jigz said" in college. Usually I limit myself to 1 dumb thing a day, but jetlag + sickness = party time for dumbastic activities. So without further ado, here is the first edition of the Stupid Things I Did Today, known from here on out as STIDT:
- Sat at someone else's desk instead of mine for 10 min, earning confused looks from everyone around me. Eventually I realized what I had done and apologized to the legitimately confused look-givers.
- Someone tried to take a look at my ID to write down my name correctly, but for some reason, I offered her my palm - I still have no idea why. I also couldn't understand why she wanted my ID. So every time she'd ask for my ID, I'd give her my palm. This continued for a minute before I realized what I was doing and finally offered her my ID so she could spell my name correctly while writing it down.
- Jammed the printer on my non-first first day, delaying everyone else's document printing.
- Tried to self-translate the vending machine instructions that were in German and ended up paying 1.60sF without getting any M&Ms in return.
- At 1am, when I couldn't sleep, I went to the lobby to ask for some salt so I could do salt-water gargles. Unfortunately, the receptionist's English wasn't very good, so I had to explain Salt as follows: White, powder, and doing the salt shaker imitation. Needless to say, his eyes grew wider and wider every time I said or did that. Finally, I pretended that there was breakfast in front of me and I was adding salt and pepper to it, and I kept saying, "Food, salt, and pepper", and pretended to pour salt and pepper on my plate simultaneously. He finally understood and asked housekeeping to bring me...Pepper.
Since I look like a horror story these days, I came back to the hotel at around three in the afternoon. The sun was out so I decided to explore the area a bit. The exploration lasted all of five minutes, after which the hawing and the sneezing won and I came back to the hotel room and crashed for a couple of hours, which mercifully limited STIDT to just the above acts. But fear not, tomorrow is another day. The STIDT list will do nothing but keep on growing and growing and growing...
Monday, March 29, 2010
Nyquil's brother
I found Nyquil's brother (or is it sister? I never get the gender quite right) at the Pharmacy. It's called Vicks MediNait and looks and tastes like Nyquil. This time, the pharmacist didn't ask me to bend my head or twirl my hips or indulge in any calisthenics of any sort, so I'm taking that as a good sign. MediNait and another Theraflu like medication came recommended by a native, so here's hoping it works!
In some good news - I found a place to live! The apartment is in Seefeld, which is apparently a much sought after area. The building is less than half a block away from the lake on one end and about a 3 min. walk to the tram on the other. It's extremely close to restaurants, bars, boutiques, grocery, etc. It's about a 25 min. commute to work, which, in Zurich terms is a bit long, but I love the location. In fact I love it so much that I'm even going to pretend that the BLUE couch in the living room isn't ugly and is in fact, the most beautiful couch I've ever seen. And you know why? Because the apartment has a private mini-backyard! I already have made plans of throwing intimate dinner parties and eating under the stars, hopefully with a Handsome Hugh by my side!
Anyway, I just had said Vicks MediNait, so before this post degrades to @#$#rtw'';;jk* I'm going to go to bed and hope and pray that Nyquil's sibling is as good as the real deal!
In some good news - I found a place to live! The apartment is in Seefeld, which is apparently a much sought after area. The building is less than half a block away from the lake on one end and about a 3 min. walk to the tram on the other. It's extremely close to restaurants, bars, boutiques, grocery, etc. It's about a 25 min. commute to work, which, in Zurich terms is a bit long, but I love the location. In fact I love it so much that I'm even going to pretend that the BLUE couch in the living room isn't ugly and is in fact, the most beautiful couch I've ever seen. And you know why? Because the apartment has a private mini-backyard! I already have made plans of throwing intimate dinner parties and eating under the stars, hopefully with a Handsome Hugh by my side!
Anyway, I just had said Vicks MediNait, so before this post degrades to @#$#rtw'';;jk* I'm going to go to bed and hope and pray that Nyquil's sibling is as good as the real deal!
Having said that...
I'd just like you to know that on my first night here in Zurich, I am sick, very sick. In fact, this is the most sick I've been in a while. I have a terrible cold that just won't go away, a killer headache, and am suffering from lack of sleep for 36 straight hours.
One interesting tidbit that I learned very quickly about Zurich is that everything here is closed on Sundays. Everything - even pharmacies! However, certain "big" train stations have all these stores, which are the only places that are open on weekends. I went to a Pharmacy (they are called Apotheke) at the big train station across from my hotel to buy some cold medication. The woman at the counter asked me to bend my head and point the areas in which I had pain (nose, head, etc) - she wasn't sure if I had a stuffed nose or sinus issues. Since I wasn't going to be doing any bending of any sort in public, I quickly told her that it was a cold. She told me that the pain in head and nose indicated that it was sinus related (?) and gave me a sinus medication. I asked her for a cough syrup and she looked at me like I had landed from Mars. She said any other medication was for body ache and other symptoms, and that for a runny nose, this was the only medication that would work.
So kids, here's Lesson#1: you have to be extremely precise in describing what you want or what you are suffering from when in Switzerland. Otherwise, like me, you will end up with a box full of green pills that you will need to take 3x a day for 10 days to recover from a common cold.
Also, Lesson#2: just because you haven't fallen sick in months, doesn't mean you won't in the future. So, let Nyquil and Theraflu be your friends; bring them with you when you travel. Otherwise you will have to learn lesson#1 and lesson#2 again and again.
It's about 3am on a Sunday night, so ponder over these life lessons that you have learned today while I try to salvage what's left of the night and try to get at least some sleep. Guten Nuit!
One interesting tidbit that I learned very quickly about Zurich is that everything here is closed on Sundays. Everything - even pharmacies! However, certain "big" train stations have all these stores, which are the only places that are open on weekends. I went to a Pharmacy (they are called Apotheke) at the big train station across from my hotel to buy some cold medication. The woman at the counter asked me to bend my head and point the areas in which I had pain (nose, head, etc) - she wasn't sure if I had a stuffed nose or sinus issues. Since I wasn't going to be doing any bending of any sort in public, I quickly told her that it was a cold. She told me that the pain in head and nose indicated that it was sinus related (?) and gave me a sinus medication. I asked her for a cough syrup and she looked at me like I had landed from Mars. She said any other medication was for body ache and other symptoms, and that for a runny nose, this was the only medication that would work.
So kids, here's Lesson#1: you have to be extremely precise in describing what you want or what you are suffering from when in Switzerland. Otherwise, like me, you will end up with a box full of green pills that you will need to take 3x a day for 10 days to recover from a common cold.
Also, Lesson#2: just because you haven't fallen sick in months, doesn't mean you won't in the future. So, let Nyquil and Theraflu be your friends; bring them with you when you travel. Otherwise you will have to learn lesson#1 and lesson#2 again and again.
It's about 3am on a Sunday night, so ponder over these life lessons that you have learned today while I try to salvage what's left of the night and try to get at least some sleep. Guten Nuit!
Welcome!
Welcome to the Insanity Hub! Most of you know me well enough to know that I am not what you would call "normal". In fact, my insanity is quite legendary, if I may say so myself - which is why I've created this little space for me and for others like me who need a place to belong (ha.ha).
Since I'm in Zurich for the near future, this blog will mostly be about my (mis)adventures here, things about the place that I find interesting, terrifying, etc. Of course, no blog of mine can ever be complete without one of my trademark rants, so expect some ranting every now and then.
Mostly, it's a way for me to stay in touch with all of you and hope to share with you some of my experiences here and be kept posted of yours in that land far, far away called U.S.A!
Since I'm in Zurich for the near future, this blog will mostly be about my (mis)adventures here, things about the place that I find interesting, terrifying, etc. Of course, no blog of mine can ever be complete without one of my trademark rants, so expect some ranting every now and then.
Mostly, it's a way for me to stay in touch with all of you and hope to share with you some of my experiences here and be kept posted of yours in that land far, far away called U.S.A!
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