Budapest

Currently, I'm in the middle of transforming a bomb-scene like apartment into something a lot more habitable. Progress has been slow, but good. Most of the bedroom furniture has been assembled, and you can actually see the floor in the living room now. I no longer have to walk on boxes to get to other boxes. My hope is to have everything finally put away within the next two weeks. But we'll see.

In the meantime, here are some pictures of Budapest, where I went with a friend for my birthday weekend. A few facts about Budapest and Hungary that not many people know: Budapest is a combination of two cities, Buda and Pest. Hungarian wine, especially their whites, are delicious and unlike most whites that I have tasted. It's an absolutely beautiful city, rich in history and culture. Hungarian food is mainly meat based, but us vegetarians can always find ways to survive. Hungarian pastries and desserts are divine, and it's easily one of my top ten favorite cities in the world.

On our first evening in Budapest, we went to a wine tasting event in a cave, underneath the Buda Castle. We had to talk down about 60 steps to get to the actual cave. While trying to get out of the cave, I got lost, and ended up asking two of the servers to help me find a way out. They calmly climbed up 60 steps with me, pointed to the Exit sign, and asked me to go there. Apparently, my mind decided that the Exit door was merely a suggestion and that I had to find my own way out. Anyway, here's a picture of the cave where did the tasting:



After the tasting, we walked around the Buda side of the city, and took some pictures of the Chain Bridge:



And of the Parliament, which is apparently the second biggest Parliament building in the world:



The next day, we went to the biggest Turkish bath place in Budapest. But before we could go there, we were distracted by, what else, food. We suddenly found ourselves outside a cafe, and before we knew it, these Hungarian desserts had already been ordered and consumed:



At the bath, there were about 18 pools of various sizes and temperatures, and over 10 sauna rooms. Three of these hot pools were outdoors, and to be in a steaming hot pool, when the outside temperature is below freezing, was amazing. We were there for over four hours,and even after that, I didn't want to leave. Security almost had to be called to pull me out of water to get me to leave. But if you were there, you'd totally understand why I wanted to stay in there forever:



On the last day, we just walked around on the Pest side of the city and tried in vain to find a falafel place. We instead ended up going to one of the restaurants in the Castle district area, and we were glad we did, because our last meal was divine. On the way back to the airport, I had a glass water bottle in my handbag, which broke because my bag fell. As a result, everything from my cellphone to my glasses got soaking wet. This was clearly not my fault, because one can only buy water in glass bottle in Hungary! I blame the country of Hungary for the destruction of my phone and the near murder of my handbag and all the accessories it contained. The End.

Goooood Morning World!

Things have been mental. Insanely mental. Ever since I came back from New York, I've only had time for a 2.5 day cleanse, fondue, work, moving apartments, fondue...well I think you get the idea. I also went away to Budapest for a weekend, details of which shall soon be uploaded (I promise!).

As many of your know, I have currently moved to my new apartment. It's a tad smaller than the first one, but a lot more cozy and close to work. Bad news is that the new apartment currently looks like a bomb exploded there. Good news is that I now have ceiling lights, a semi functioning wardrobe, a fully functioning bookshelf, and of course, a fully stocked kitchen.

Move to the new place also meant that my stuff from New York had a place to come to, and arrived it did. The stuff also multiplied in boxes, I am sure of it. I don't remember having nearly as many books:



And when we counted the number of pairs of shoes I had, it came out to be over 40. This was clearly not my fault. I have an addiction issue. I'm on a drug - it's called Charlie Sheen. It’s not available because if you try it once your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body.

And with all the Tiger blood that I have running through my viens, I have no choice but to buy as many shoes as I can - it's in my Adonis DNA! People can't figure me out, they can't process me, I don't expect them to. You can't process me with the normal brain. People can't figure me out, they can't process me, and I don't expect them to. You can't process me with the normal brain. If all this makes no sense to you, just read up on it, and you will be enlightened.

When bad things happen to good people...

Once upon a time, there was a wonderful girl. She was a very good person. Who always had good intentions. One day, this wonderful, good girl, decided to go on a detox diet. She even convinced her devil incarnate friend, who we shall refer to here as Jon, to join her on the detox diet. Jon agreed to do it, albeit begrudglingly.

For the first two days, everything was perfect. The wonderful girl had nothing but fruits, vegetables, and salads and soup for lunch and dinner. On the third day, the wonderful girl had dinner plans with her wonderful friend. For the sake of this story, we shall call him Chris. Chris knew that the wonderful girl had a dark and terrible secret. She was addicted to Fondue. Only Chris was privy to this deep, dark, shameful secret. Okay maybe the whole world knew about her secret, but only HE had the power to use it to his advantage. Okay that's not really true, but let's just pretend it was. Anyway, on the third day of the diet, Chris uttered the F word on the tram. This powerful word shattered the wonderful girl's world. All of a sudden, the only thing she wanted was Fondue. She couldn't function like a normal person. She started wailing on the tram. People were staring, but she remained unmoved.

She begged Chris to allow her to focus on her diet, but he insisted that they go for fondue. Despondent, she had no choice but to follow him there. Now, if you come across this Chris guy, he may give you a different version of this story. HE may say that HE tried to get this wonderful girl to stick to her diet, and that SHE insisted that they go for fondue. He may claim to not even know where the restaurant was located. But don't be food by his charming smile. For under that charm lies the heart of an evil kingpin, who can fool you into doing his bidding anytime. I mean, look at this wonderful girl here:



Does this face look it belongs to the wonderful girl who made the decision to go have fondue herself? Or does it look like she was forced to go there? I mean, if the tears that you can almost see glistening in her eyes don't make you believe the latter, then I don't know what will.

In the meantime, the actual devil incarnate Jon was made aware of such flagrant violations of the diet. But Jon, being the devil incarnate, allegedly already foresaw such developments and therefore broke his diet even earlier by indulging in cake therapy. The moral of this story is that wonderful girls should never hang out with devil incarnates or with evil kingpins, for they have the power to ruin people's lives. Or at least their diets. Let this be a lesson for all. That is all.

The world is coming to an end

Why, you ask? Because something incredible is happening as we speak. Something no one thought possible. Something that will go down in annals of history as the definining moment that changed the world as we know it. Generations have waited for this moment. Protests were launched for it. People risked their lives for it. And the moment is this: I'm going on a diet.

Yes, you read it right, and you read it here first. I am going on a 7-day detox diet. You may have thought that I was going to comment on the crisis in Egypt, but there's enough coverage about that historic event already. On the other hand, not a SINGLE newspaper has come to me to talk about my diet. So I've decided to take matters in my own hands and blog about it.

You see, when I got back from New York earlier this week, I planned to blog about all the insane amount of food I had eaten there. And believe me when I say this: it was insane. Just making a list of all the different things I ate took up an entire page. Going through the list also helped me resolve the mystery of my expanding waistline. I knew that something had to be done. And so I decided to do the 7-day detox diet, not really to lose weight, but mainly to cleanse my palate, so I can try to stop being in a constant state of craving. Today is Day 1, which is only fruit and veggie soup. To say that it's not going well would be an understatement. I see cupcakes floating around me, and people are starting to look like banana pudding. I'm sure there's something wrong with this picture, but I just can't figure out what.

On a related note, I'm sure you are aware that there is a lot of eveil in this world. And some of these evil people have no shame and would never think twice about sitting next to you in the cafeteria with a plateful of raclette, KNOWING that you are on a diet. I demand that such people be slapped. Some other people will also have no shame and will bring up the names of all the wonderful things that you ate while in New York. Such people's heads need to be shaved. And on that not-at-all violent note, I'm going to make me a wonderful fruit salad and have some delicious (not) soup. If I'm alive this time next week, I'll be back. If not, well, it was good knowing you. May the force be with you. Amen.

New York, New York!

Oh New York, how have I missed thee. Ten minutes into being back in the city, I was under a dual pronged cold and wind attack, witnessed a large woman yelling at a cab driver, and sat in a cab that smelled really bad. And I felt like I was home.

I'm not going to lie, most of this week has been spent eating and shopping. I'm staying with one of my best friends for part of the trip, so there has also been a lot of "chin wagging" going on. That's right - apparently I talk so much that I'm considered a "chin wagger". Certain people from the Land of the Queen coined this phrase to specifically be able to describe just how much I talk. One day when I'm done being mad about it, I might even find it amusing.

Anyway, I digress. Due to the fact that I'm only back for ten days, each meal matters. So the day I landed, I went to the nearest Chipotle, had a veggie burrito bowl, and cried in joy after the first bite. After being able to check off one of the food joints off my long list of restaurants, I made my way to Fifth Ave. By this time, the wind had picked up and I was also under the influence of food, so before I knew it, I was walking out of Aerosoles with a pair of boots. I don't quite remember how that happened. One minute I was simultaneously cursing the gods because of the frigid weather and thanking them for inventing Chipotle, and next minute I found myself holding a pair of brown suede boots. I guess god does work in mysterious ways.

The next day, I went to Crate and Barrel with a handy list of 54 items that I needed to buy for my new apartment in Zurich. I ended up buying out pretty much the entire store. I believe they shut down right after I was done because they ran out of everything. In fact, I bought so much stuff that I needed to make three trips to carry it all back to my friend's apartment. I made two trips that day alone, and decided to make the third and final trip the following day.

I went to Macys yesterday, and I kid you not, I just lost it. Do you know just how hard it is to find petite clothing in Europe, where everyone is 800ft. tall? You think solving the economic crisis is challenging? Try being five feet tall in a country where the average woman is 5'8. You will understand devastation. And only when you have experienced such devastation will you truly appreciate the power of Macys. Swimming in a sea of petite sized clothing and hanging out with Michael Kors handbags while coveting Via Spiga shoes was just too much for me to handle. I was walking around the store looking like a freak, with a huge smile plastered on my face. I think I scared all the sales associates at the store. One of them even came up to me and asked me if I was alright. I have lived in New York long enough to realize that no one really smiles here, so I immediately understood her concern and rearranged my face to depict a sulk, which was a much more appropriate look for the city.

After I was done with Macys, I went to Kati Roll (another one of the places from my list) for a quick lunch, and suddenly found myself holding four different dresses in the dressing room at Lord and Taylor. The exact events that led to me getting possession of these clothes are a blur, much like the Aerosoles incident from the night before. By this time, exhaustion was starting to rear its ugly head, but I was determined not to let it win. So I decided to mix it up a little and ended up going to Barnes and Noble for a bit and picked up a few books.

All this culminated in me going to Crate and Barrel to pick up part 3 of my shopping collection. Even the sales associate who brought out the remaining items from the warehouse looked at me in awe. Probably because he was thinking, "how can a tiny person like you POSSIBLY need SO. MUCH. STUFF?" But I like to awe people and boggle their mind, so I just gave him my best mysterious look and left the store with a grand total of 4 bags and 3 boxes. The associate wasn't sure how I'd even make it out of the store with so much stuff. But if there's one thing a woman knows, it's how to shop AND how to haul it all back.

This weekend, I've decided to take a mini-break from shopping, in order to devote all my attention to eating. I am visiting family in Jersey, and have only now recovered from the food coma that I was in for the last three hours. I'm now going to bed to ensure that I have enough sustenance to deal with all the food related plans that I have for tomorrow. Good night, and hope you have a good food-related weekend!

Less than 12 hours to go

before I fly out to New York. Any normal person would be busy packing at this point in time. But me? I'm looking up vacation spots in Europe, reading about quantum entanglement (don't even get me started on that), listening to Lady Antebellum, and making a list of all the restaurants I want to hit while I'm in town. Oh and I'm also fantasizing about the day when I'll have Charlize Theron's physique so I can parade around at the beach in a swimsuit. All this, while having some ice-cream, of course. I need help. Or more dessert. Or something.

Nearly a year later...

I'll be visiting New York again in a week! I need to go back to wrap some loose ends, get all my stuff out of storage and have it shipped over to Zurich, since this is now my temporary permanent home. I am already daydreaming about:

- FOOD
- SHOPPING
- catching up with family
- catching up with friends
- dessert
- brunch anywhere in the Meatpacking district
- Falafel at 2am in the West Village

I have at least twenty other things to add to that list, but they all basically pertain to either eating or shopping. My pre-Zurich life was so vastly different from my current one that I don't know how much of it I'll even remember or recognize! It will still make for an interesting story, I'm sure :)

Believe in magic!

Credit Card companies do, so why shouldn't you? Confused? Let me explain:

Once upon a time, a lifetime ago really, I had a credit card with a company - let's just call them ABC. Being Indian, I'm genetically inclined to never have any balance to carry forward on my card, and always pay my monthly balance in full. Ever since I moved to Zurich, I've only used one credit card from the US, and that too mostly for bigger purchases. Just for fun, I was checking my online statements for all my cards last night. That's right - some people watch TV for fun. Me, I check all my dormant credit cards' balances online.

To my shock and horror, I discovered that one of my cards had a past due bill for interest payment to the tune of $330. Which would have been fine, if not for one teeny tiny little fact: the balance on the card was $0. That's correct, I was charged interest that's equivalent to 1/3rd of a Gucci bag on a $0 balance.

Once I was over my shock and awe at this ridiculousness, I called their customer service number, where an obviously Indian girl introduced herself as "Patricia". I felt like telling her, "Honey, if you are Patricia, then I am Ms. Universe, and we ALL know that that's not true!" But I indulged her by letting her think that I totally thought she was indeed Patricia. She asked me to explain the issue to her. Of course, she couldn't really do anything so I got passed around to three other people. By this time, my rage issues had started to make a grand return. I closed my eyes and imagined hundreds of cupcakes waiting for me, which helped calm me down. Sadly, only food-related thoughts can help me relax now. This situation has now become dire. Anyway, I finally spoke with someone who had superpowers and could help me with my situation! This person said that he could indeed see this $330 interest past due on my statement, but couldn't figure out where it came from! I guess it just "magically" appeared!

After a bit of head scratching by both of us, he agreed to waive the balance, which was good because it had no basis to exist in the first place. I was thoroughly disgusted by all of this, and once he helpfully waived the interest on a non-existent balance, I proceeded to close my account with ABC Bank. This taught me an important lesson - magic is not limited to Disney alone...even credit card companies believe in it! Now I'm going to go play with my Harry Potter magic wand and see if I can conjure up some spells...anything is possible at this point!

New Year, new me?

Let's be honest, that's never going to happen. No matter what the year, my insanity will never go away. Hope you all had a wonderful Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, or for people like me, an awesome National Day of Eating. I just got back from spending ten blissful days in England, as a result of which I feel like I'm part British, and hence from now on, I'm going to use words like "reckon" and "knackered" on a frighteningly regular basis. All this shall take place while sipping a cup of tea, with an outstretched pinky finger, of course!

Speaking of the New Year, did any of us make any new year resolutions? Mine is to lose the ten pounds that I have been trying to lose for the last one hundred years, in addition to losing the five that I gained over the break, and to finally be beach ready. If history repeats itself, then this resolution will soon fall by the wayside to make room for cookies and cake. And fondue. And chocolates. And...okay I think you get the idea.

2010 pretty much changed my life, by taking me halfway across the world and bringing some truly amazing people in my life. I'm blessed to have had the opportunities that I did, and grateful for the love and support of some truly amazing friends and a special someone. I hope this year continues to surprise me, in the best possible way. For now, let's enjoy these last few moments of lingering holiday laziness and peace, before the new year begins full throttle. I "reckon" I'm now going to practice my "loveleh" British accent and try to convince the residents of Switzerland that I am, in fact, British, dahling! And I'm going to ask anyone who doubts my "Britishness" to "bugger off"! Cheers!