Budapest

Currently, I'm in the middle of transforming a bomb-scene like apartment into something a lot more habitable. Progress has been slow, but good. Most of the bedroom furniture has been assembled, and you can actually see the floor in the living room now. I no longer have to walk on boxes to get to other boxes. My hope is to have everything finally put away within the next two weeks. But we'll see.

In the meantime, here are some pictures of Budapest, where I went with a friend for my birthday weekend. A few facts about Budapest and Hungary that not many people know: Budapest is a combination of two cities, Buda and Pest. Hungarian wine, especially their whites, are delicious and unlike most whites that I have tasted. It's an absolutely beautiful city, rich in history and culture. Hungarian food is mainly meat based, but us vegetarians can always find ways to survive. Hungarian pastries and desserts are divine, and it's easily one of my top ten favorite cities in the world.

On our first evening in Budapest, we went to a wine tasting event in a cave, underneath the Buda Castle. We had to talk down about 60 steps to get to the actual cave. While trying to get out of the cave, I got lost, and ended up asking two of the servers to help me find a way out. They calmly climbed up 60 steps with me, pointed to the Exit sign, and asked me to go there. Apparently, my mind decided that the Exit door was merely a suggestion and that I had to find my own way out. Anyway, here's a picture of the cave where did the tasting:



After the tasting, we walked around the Buda side of the city, and took some pictures of the Chain Bridge:



And of the Parliament, which is apparently the second biggest Parliament building in the world:



The next day, we went to the biggest Turkish bath place in Budapest. But before we could go there, we were distracted by, what else, food. We suddenly found ourselves outside a cafe, and before we knew it, these Hungarian desserts had already been ordered and consumed:



At the bath, there were about 18 pools of various sizes and temperatures, and over 10 sauna rooms. Three of these hot pools were outdoors, and to be in a steaming hot pool, when the outside temperature is below freezing, was amazing. We were there for over four hours,and even after that, I didn't want to leave. Security almost had to be called to pull me out of water to get me to leave. But if you were there, you'd totally understand why I wanted to stay in there forever:



On the last day, we just walked around on the Pest side of the city and tried in vain to find a falafel place. We instead ended up going to one of the restaurants in the Castle district area, and we were glad we did, because our last meal was divine. On the way back to the airport, I had a glass water bottle in my handbag, which broke because my bag fell. As a result, everything from my cellphone to my glasses got soaking wet. This was clearly not my fault, because one can only buy water in glass bottle in Hungary! I blame the country of Hungary for the destruction of my phone and the near murder of my handbag and all the accessories it contained. The End.

Goooood Morning World!

Things have been mental. Insanely mental. Ever since I came back from New York, I've only had time for a 2.5 day cleanse, fondue, work, moving apartments, fondue...well I think you get the idea. I also went away to Budapest for a weekend, details of which shall soon be uploaded (I promise!).

As many of your know, I have currently moved to my new apartment. It's a tad smaller than the first one, but a lot more cozy and close to work. Bad news is that the new apartment currently looks like a bomb exploded there. Good news is that I now have ceiling lights, a semi functioning wardrobe, a fully functioning bookshelf, and of course, a fully stocked kitchen.

Move to the new place also meant that my stuff from New York had a place to come to, and arrived it did. The stuff also multiplied in boxes, I am sure of it. I don't remember having nearly as many books:



And when we counted the number of pairs of shoes I had, it came out to be over 40. This was clearly not my fault. I have an addiction issue. I'm on a drug - it's called Charlie Sheen. It’s not available because if you try it once your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body.

And with all the Tiger blood that I have running through my viens, I have no choice but to buy as many shoes as I can - it's in my Adonis DNA! People can't figure me out, they can't process me, I don't expect them to. You can't process me with the normal brain. People can't figure me out, they can't process me, and I don't expect them to. You can't process me with the normal brain. If all this makes no sense to you, just read up on it, and you will be enlightened.

When bad things happen to good people...

Once upon a time, there was a wonderful girl. She was a very good person. Who always had good intentions. One day, this wonderful, good girl, decided to go on a detox diet. She even convinced her devil incarnate friend, who we shall refer to here as Jon, to join her on the detox diet. Jon agreed to do it, albeit begrudglingly.

For the first two days, everything was perfect. The wonderful girl had nothing but fruits, vegetables, and salads and soup for lunch and dinner. On the third day, the wonderful girl had dinner plans with her wonderful friend. For the sake of this story, we shall call him Chris. Chris knew that the wonderful girl had a dark and terrible secret. She was addicted to Fondue. Only Chris was privy to this deep, dark, shameful secret. Okay maybe the whole world knew about her secret, but only HE had the power to use it to his advantage. Okay that's not really true, but let's just pretend it was. Anyway, on the third day of the diet, Chris uttered the F word on the tram. This powerful word shattered the wonderful girl's world. All of a sudden, the only thing she wanted was Fondue. She couldn't function like a normal person. She started wailing on the tram. People were staring, but she remained unmoved.

She begged Chris to allow her to focus on her diet, but he insisted that they go for fondue. Despondent, she had no choice but to follow him there. Now, if you come across this Chris guy, he may give you a different version of this story. HE may say that HE tried to get this wonderful girl to stick to her diet, and that SHE insisted that they go for fondue. He may claim to not even know where the restaurant was located. But don't be food by his charming smile. For under that charm lies the heart of an evil kingpin, who can fool you into doing his bidding anytime. I mean, look at this wonderful girl here:



Does this face look it belongs to the wonderful girl who made the decision to go have fondue herself? Or does it look like she was forced to go there? I mean, if the tears that you can almost see glistening in her eyes don't make you believe the latter, then I don't know what will.

In the meantime, the actual devil incarnate Jon was made aware of such flagrant violations of the diet. But Jon, being the devil incarnate, allegedly already foresaw such developments and therefore broke his diet even earlier by indulging in cake therapy. The moral of this story is that wonderful girls should never hang out with devil incarnates or with evil kingpins, for they have the power to ruin people's lives. Or at least their diets. Let this be a lesson for all. That is all.

The world is coming to an end

Why, you ask? Because something incredible is happening as we speak. Something no one thought possible. Something that will go down in annals of history as the definining moment that changed the world as we know it. Generations have waited for this moment. Protests were launched for it. People risked their lives for it. And the moment is this: I'm going on a diet.

Yes, you read it right, and you read it here first. I am going on a 7-day detox diet. You may have thought that I was going to comment on the crisis in Egypt, but there's enough coverage about that historic event already. On the other hand, not a SINGLE newspaper has come to me to talk about my diet. So I've decided to take matters in my own hands and blog about it.

You see, when I got back from New York earlier this week, I planned to blog about all the insane amount of food I had eaten there. And believe me when I say this: it was insane. Just making a list of all the different things I ate took up an entire page. Going through the list also helped me resolve the mystery of my expanding waistline. I knew that something had to be done. And so I decided to do the 7-day detox diet, not really to lose weight, but mainly to cleanse my palate, so I can try to stop being in a constant state of craving. Today is Day 1, which is only fruit and veggie soup. To say that it's not going well would be an understatement. I see cupcakes floating around me, and people are starting to look like banana pudding. I'm sure there's something wrong with this picture, but I just can't figure out what.

On a related note, I'm sure you are aware that there is a lot of eveil in this world. And some of these evil people have no shame and would never think twice about sitting next to you in the cafeteria with a plateful of raclette, KNOWING that you are on a diet. I demand that such people be slapped. Some other people will also have no shame and will bring up the names of all the wonderful things that you ate while in New York. Such people's heads need to be shaved. And on that not-at-all violent note, I'm going to make me a wonderful fruit salad and have some delicious (not) soup. If I'm alive this time next week, I'll be back. If not, well, it was good knowing you. May the force be with you. Amen.

New York, New York!

Oh New York, how have I missed thee. Ten minutes into being back in the city, I was under a dual pronged cold and wind attack, witnessed a large woman yelling at a cab driver, and sat in a cab that smelled really bad. And I felt like I was home.

I'm not going to lie, most of this week has been spent eating and shopping. I'm staying with one of my best friends for part of the trip, so there has also been a lot of "chin wagging" going on. That's right - apparently I talk so much that I'm considered a "chin wagger". Certain people from the Land of the Queen coined this phrase to specifically be able to describe just how much I talk. One day when I'm done being mad about it, I might even find it amusing.

Anyway, I digress. Due to the fact that I'm only back for ten days, each meal matters. So the day I landed, I went to the nearest Chipotle, had a veggie burrito bowl, and cried in joy after the first bite. After being able to check off one of the food joints off my long list of restaurants, I made my way to Fifth Ave. By this time, the wind had picked up and I was also under the influence of food, so before I knew it, I was walking out of Aerosoles with a pair of boots. I don't quite remember how that happened. One minute I was simultaneously cursing the gods because of the frigid weather and thanking them for inventing Chipotle, and next minute I found myself holding a pair of brown suede boots. I guess god does work in mysterious ways.

The next day, I went to Crate and Barrel with a handy list of 54 items that I needed to buy for my new apartment in Zurich. I ended up buying out pretty much the entire store. I believe they shut down right after I was done because they ran out of everything. In fact, I bought so much stuff that I needed to make three trips to carry it all back to my friend's apartment. I made two trips that day alone, and decided to make the third and final trip the following day.

I went to Macys yesterday, and I kid you not, I just lost it. Do you know just how hard it is to find petite clothing in Europe, where everyone is 800ft. tall? You think solving the economic crisis is challenging? Try being five feet tall in a country where the average woman is 5'8. You will understand devastation. And only when you have experienced such devastation will you truly appreciate the power of Macys. Swimming in a sea of petite sized clothing and hanging out with Michael Kors handbags while coveting Via Spiga shoes was just too much for me to handle. I was walking around the store looking like a freak, with a huge smile plastered on my face. I think I scared all the sales associates at the store. One of them even came up to me and asked me if I was alright. I have lived in New York long enough to realize that no one really smiles here, so I immediately understood her concern and rearranged my face to depict a sulk, which was a much more appropriate look for the city.

After I was done with Macys, I went to Kati Roll (another one of the places from my list) for a quick lunch, and suddenly found myself holding four different dresses in the dressing room at Lord and Taylor. The exact events that led to me getting possession of these clothes are a blur, much like the Aerosoles incident from the night before. By this time, exhaustion was starting to rear its ugly head, but I was determined not to let it win. So I decided to mix it up a little and ended up going to Barnes and Noble for a bit and picked up a few books.

All this culminated in me going to Crate and Barrel to pick up part 3 of my shopping collection. Even the sales associate who brought out the remaining items from the warehouse looked at me in awe. Probably because he was thinking, "how can a tiny person like you POSSIBLY need SO. MUCH. STUFF?" But I like to awe people and boggle their mind, so I just gave him my best mysterious look and left the store with a grand total of 4 bags and 3 boxes. The associate wasn't sure how I'd even make it out of the store with so much stuff. But if there's one thing a woman knows, it's how to shop AND how to haul it all back.

This weekend, I've decided to take a mini-break from shopping, in order to devote all my attention to eating. I am visiting family in Jersey, and have only now recovered from the food coma that I was in for the last three hours. I'm now going to bed to ensure that I have enough sustenance to deal with all the food related plans that I have for tomorrow. Good night, and hope you have a good food-related weekend!

Nearly a year later...

I'll be visiting New York again in a week! I need to go back to wrap some loose ends, get all my stuff out of storage and have it shipped over to Zurich, since this is now my temporary permanent home. I am already daydreaming about:

- FOOD
- SHOPPING
- catching up with family
- catching up with friends
- dessert
- brunch anywhere in the Meatpacking district
- Falafel at 2am in the West Village

I have at least twenty other things to add to that list, but they all basically pertain to either eating or shopping. My pre-Zurich life was so vastly different from my current one that I don't know how much of it I'll even remember or recognize! It will still make for an interesting story, I'm sure :)

New Year, new me?

Let's be honest, that's never going to happen. No matter what the year, my insanity will never go away. Hope you all had a wonderful Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, or for people like me, an awesome National Day of Eating. I just got back from spending ten blissful days in England, as a result of which I feel like I'm part British, and hence from now on, I'm going to use words like "reckon" and "knackered" on a frighteningly regular basis. All this shall take place while sipping a cup of tea, with an outstretched pinky finger, of course!

Speaking of the New Year, did any of us make any new year resolutions? Mine is to lose the ten pounds that I have been trying to lose for the last one hundred years, in addition to losing the five that I gained over the break, and to finally be beach ready. If history repeats itself, then this resolution will soon fall by the wayside to make room for cookies and cake. And fondue. And chocolates. And...okay I think you get the idea.

2010 pretty much changed my life, by taking me halfway across the world and bringing some truly amazing people in my life. I'm blessed to have had the opportunities that I did, and grateful for the love and support of some truly amazing friends and a special someone. I hope this year continues to surprise me, in the best possible way. For now, let's enjoy these last few moments of lingering holiday laziness and peace, before the new year begins full throttle. I "reckon" I'm now going to practice my "loveleh" British accent and try to convince the residents of Switzerland that I am, in fact, British, dahling! And I'm going to ask anyone who doubts my "Britishness" to "bugger off"! Cheers!

Happy Holidays!

Dearie me - I can't believe it's been nearly a month since my last blog update! The following has happened in these past few weeks:

- I signed a new contract to stay in Zurich for an indefinite period of time. Or at least until I've managed to eat every single piece of Swiss chocolate that I can lay my hands on.

- I went to Paris during Christmastime, and had the most wonderful time with someone wonderful. There was an attack of the snow, but it made everything that much more beautiful:



- Because of the holidays, there are chocolates everywhere, especially at work. As a result, I have now turned into a zombie who just trolls all the floors in the office building, looking for my next chocolate fix. I walk up to random people's desks, take any chocolate that I see lying around, and then walk away. I hear there's talk of staging an intervention to help me make it out of this. I hope they have chocolate at the rumored intervention.

- A direct side-effect of the above situation has been an exponential expansion of my ass. It is as wide as Pluto the planet now and shows no signs of shrinking anytime soon.

- I hosted my first cheese fondue dinner, and it was heavenly! I would like to show you pictures of said event, but I was too busy eating all the food to remember to take pictures.

- I have been eating so much fondue that I'm basically starting to look like one.

- I upheld my annual December tradition, and lost one glove last week. I now have five left hand gloves, because I keep losing the right one on a different mode of public transport. Every year. For five years in a row. Just one of the many reasons why I need therapy.

- Managed to take some pictures of the Christmas tree at Paradeplatz:



- And took some pictures of Zurich in winter:



I'm now off to London for Christmas and to Birmingham for New Year's Eve. So in case I don't get around to updating this blog anytime soon, here's wishing everyone Happy Holidays and hope you have a wonderful New Year!

Back in Zurich

Two illnesses, a dozen pair of shoes, and a bagful of clothes later, I'm back in Zurich! Work has been busy, and I'm already planning my Paris trip!

We had our first real snow today, and to say that this place is beautiful is an understatement. I feel like I'm in paradise, surrounded by white mountains and Christmas lights that are shining bright. I walked around a bit today after work and took some pictures of the Christmas Tree at Paradeplatz (the main square), and hope to take some more tomorrow during the day. I hope to be able to share some tomorrow.

In the meantime, here's something to keep you entertained. Apparently I wrote this poem about two years ago, when I was single, fat, and I had drowned my third plant by over-watering it, and when I was feeling fat:

Plants are drowning
ass is expanding
Oh brother when will I stop pretending

That my life is sweet
Even though my butt is falling off the seat

On Friday I go to bed at midnight
And dream of Tom and Jerry wishing me goodnight

There is no man who I want to hug
So I end up drinking coffee in a mug

And then on Saturday I go around hopping
because I have found the greatest cure of all - shopping!

You may go ahead and call me pathetic now. You are allowed. Das ist alles.

Greetings from a land far, far away!

Greetings earthlings! As most of you know, I'm currently on vacation in Mumbai, India. I grew up here until I was about seventeen, which is when I moved to the U.S. for my undergrad and since then have come back once every two years or so. Everytime I come back, I'm struck by just how fast the city is changing. It feels like I'm visiting a different city every time. The infrastructure, the stores, the fashion is much more different now than it was a decade ago; everything is more "western" and "hip" now. But, there are still many things that have stayed the same, and I suspect will continue to stay the same for generations. Here's a quick recap of things that haven't changed since I moved back - this is how every visit of mine has been for the last ten years!

So yesterday I woke up super early, because by 8am, the doorbell had rung at least five times, and the phone at least three. The hardest was when no one would answer the home phone because everyone was busy talking on their own cell phones - then it would keep ringing incessantly! Finally I just gave up and stormed out of my room and foolishly thought that trying to fall asleep in my parents' bedroom, since they were already up, would help with the situation. But oh how wrong was I! It just got worse in their room, because the sound of the doorbell is the loudest in there! Eventually, I had to give in to the powers of the universe and just wake up. I brushed my teeth and walked into the dining area, where my mom promptly started shoving food in front of my face. For a second I thought I was still dreaming, but as soon as I realized that this, in fact, would be my new reality for the next couple of weeks, I was in love. Before 10am, I had eaten a sandwich, some fruit, juice, and cookies. At around noon, I went to visit my grandma and granddad, who live down the road from us.

As soon as I got to theirs, the first thing everyone did was yell at me for "losing too much weight". I'm convinced that this weight loss thing is a figment of their imagination - I mean we've all seen how I eat. It would be physically and metamorphically impossible for me to have lost weight with all that food consumption! Sidebar: One thing you need to know about Indian families - they consider it their right and responsibility to comment on your weight and your looks. It's like they can't go to bed at night without sharing their observations on your appearance, and any sarcastic comments about it will just bounce off them. And this isn't just your immediate family - your friends, neighbors, their friends, their neighbors, everyone has this unstoppable and compulsive urge to tell you how they think you look. My freshmen year I gained the freshmen 30, and as a result I came back as an inflatable device. Everyone, and by everyone I mean everyone that I met - my neighbors, friends, family, extended family - felt compelled to point out to me that I had turned into a flotation device. I tried sarcasm and told them, "oh really? I had no idea that I got fat - that's not what MY mirror told me!" But this just bounced off them and they took that seriously! So after a while I just gave up and would nod my head anytime we talked about my fatness :-P

Anyway, when I got to grandma's, due to her neurosis that made her think I was too skinny, I was promptly fed Indian sweets and snacks. It was good to see her and my granddad (my cousin and my aunt were also home), but both GM and GD aren't feeling too good, so I hope they get better! Another sidebar: Something else you need to know about living in India - your life here revolves around that of the maid's. Maids are very hard to come by, so once you actually find one, you do your best to make the world a happy place for her. You feed her, care for her, make sure she's satisfied, and of course, pay her. You wouldn't dare criticize her, even if she does a sucky job, for fear of abandonment.

We have two people who we employ: A guy called Rakesh who sweeps and mops all the floors in the house, dusts, and cleans the bathrooms. However, the "main" maid, Pinky, is far too important for such menial tasks. She does do the dishes, but most importantly, she hangs the washing, folds and puts it away, chops all the veggies, runs errands for my mom, and puts everything away to its rightful place in the house. I have lost track of how many times in the past I had called my mom to chat, only to have her tell me that she couldn't talk to me because "Pinky was here." My mom would turn into a walking zombie without her, I'm sure of it. The reason I tell you all this is because when I was at my grandma's place, I received a frantic call from my mom demanding that my brother and I head back aSAP, because, "PINKY IS HERE TO DO THE DISHES!" We hadn't had our lunch yet, so we had to rush back to eat, just so we could give those dishes to rinse to Pinky as well. So, we ate as fast as we could for dear old Pinky.

We then hired a rickshaw, and took it to go meet up with my dad close to his office. I hate taking rickshaw's anywhere, they are loud, and they don't have doors so all the dust gets in your face, but most importantly, riding in them messes up my hair because of the dust and the wind. They are really easy to come by; however, so it's much easier to hire one of those than wait around for a cab, especially in the part of the city that we live in. We met up with my dad, who drove us to this new mall that opened up downtown, and we shopped around for a couple of hours, before heading out to dinner. The clothes and the fashion for non-work clothes that you get here is pretty similar to what I would get in the US; in fact, many of the clothes that I end up buying in the US are actually made in India. I bought a cute ruffled tier skirt, a black and white printed sheath dress, and a long top that can masquerade as a dress if I wanted it to. If you're a guy reading this, then I know the outfits description means nothing to you, so just nod and pretend that you understand what I mean :-P

Today is Diwali, which is our "Christmas," so the plan is to go to a really nice place for dinner with the extended family. I hope to be back sometime next week to fill you in on more details about the trip, and also to share with you the number of lunches and dinners I've had. The tally so far: 6 lunches and 4 dinners in 3 days. Let's see if we can top this next week!

Tell me what you want to hear

I am OBSESSED with this song right now - I can't stop playing it over and over and over again:



Today I went to Julie and Carla's for yet another gluttonic event. If gluttonic is not an adjective, well, it should be one. As I have done in the past, this time I didn't eat anything all day before going over to their place, and as usual, it was SO worth it. About 10-12 women feasted on veggie enchiladas, picco de gallo, avocado-mango salad, some pork thing, beans and nice, cinnamon rolls, and copious amounts of other drinks. At one point, I had to be in the horizontal position for a good fifteen minutes, in order to facilitate breathing, which was restricted because of all the eating.

Once I was able to move into a vertical position again, I rejoined the conversation, which, to my delight, revolved around food. After being completely satiated, we proceeded to play Monopoly, where certain people, who shall not be named, did end up creating monopolies and taking away all the money from the little guys. But not me! I decided to fight against the establishment, and even tried to start a revolution! But I guess everyone else wanted to build houses and hotels and spaceships, so my partner Carla and I had no choice but to join the capitalistic society and build some houses of our own. But after a while, I cried out and said, "Enough! Is this the kind of world that we want to bring our children into, where all people want is MORE? Let's all go back to a simpler time, when we helped each other out, and cared for each other. Let's end this insanity, once an for all, and let people pass by our houses and hotels without having to pay rent." Okay fine, I may have made a couple of bad real estate calls, which may have led to Carla and me getting kicked out of the game. But I'm sure had I survived another round, I would have given the exact speech that I just quoted.

I got over my loss against capitalism by eating cinnamon rolls and having Irish coffee. How I managed to even walk out of their place and get back home, I don't know, but I'm glad I did, because I am currently in a food coma. In fact, I think even typing anything more is difficult, if not impossible, so I'm just going to put an end to this and go to bed. Hope you had a good, food filled weekend!

Ramblings of a hungry mind

I accidentally ended up eating two dinners, and as a result, I had to stay in the horizontal position for a good hour. But as soon as I got vertical, hunger for dessert beaconed, and I ended up having a big piece of leftover Swiss roll for dessert. Result: I am now back in the horizontal position.

Today's post was supposed to be about our visit to Montreux, but I realized that I hadn't shared an STIDT in a while, so I figured it was time for one. Today, while sitting by my desk at work, in a span of 3 seconds, I dropped my ID, and when I bent to pick it up, my glasses fell off my face, and when I bent down to pick them, up my handbag fell on top of me. Yes, all this happened sequentially and yet almost simultaneously. But, as usual, none of this was my fault. The culprit, in this case, was the stupendously delicious chocolate muffin that I had earlier in the afternoon. Gooey and chocolaty on the inside, soft and welcoming on the outside, it was a forkful of perfection. This decadent, sinful delight has changed me forever. I am a born-again optimist. I am now convinced that nothing can be as bad as it seems, as long as you have a muffin in your life.

I would have taken a picture, but before I could even take in my first deep breath, muffin was demolished. Nothing was left. I was literally scraping the bottom of the paper to get every tiny little piece that I could. But it was worth it. I'm pretty sure that last bit of muffin was what gave me the epiphany that changed my life forever. Now if I could only get my hands on another one of those tomorrow, I will be able to achieve Nirvana. Moksha. Whatever you want to call it. I'm just one chocolate stuffed chocolate muffin away from it. Here's hoping that the powers that be that control the muffin supply are paying attention to this!

I am alive!

I promise! Unlike some people, I did NOT get lost at Oktoberfest. I've just been insanely busy with work and with my BFF who's visiting me from New York. The Oktfest crew also went to Montreux this weekend, and to say that I felt like I was in paradise would be an understatement:



I am going to spend a massive amount of time this weekend updating the blog with details about the Munich trip, which will include:

- Triggering a philosophical debate on why men can't ask for directions even when they are obviously lost

- A short story about what men do when they are lost in a crowd, while others are conducting a massive manhunt for them

- Answer to a burning question: Does what happened at Oktoberfest ever really stay at Oktoberfest?

- An explanation on why wine tastings will be the death of me

- Discussion point: Is there ever such a thing as "too much wine?"

Stay tuned for more! Until then, I leave you with a visual teaser of what's to come:

Life happened

This month has been really busy - between finalizing my long-term career plans, figuring out some personal stuff, and the return of Fall TV, there hasn't been any time to blog about:

- Watching some really terrible movies

- Visiting the dentist in a country where English, though widely spoken, is still a second language

- Debating whether the term "cougar" really even applies to women who are under 30

- Doing my first ever 10K run and promptly dying at the end of it

- Going through the agony of only being able to eat three meals a day for two consecutive weeks due to stress

I'm off to Munich this weekend for Oktoberfest, which should be interesting because I don't even drink beer! I also get to meet my BFF from New York who is currently in Berlin - can't wait to catch up with her on all the gossip!

I hope to come back sometime before the end of this decade to blog about Munich, and about some additional traveling that I plan on doing within the next few days. Until then, May the force be with you!

So What

This week has been, as the French say, shit. Actually, it has been eine grosse katastrophe. It has been fraught with suspense, drama, and bouts of hunger, all culminating in an epic public meltdown that shocked pretty much all of Zurich. You know me - I have been known to only cry while watching Hallmark commercials or while watching the opening montage from the movie UP. And such rumored acts of crying have only occured in a dark movie theater or within the confines of my apartment. I'm almost vampire like that way. So an epic daylight public meltdown by me is not only unheard of, it is also deeply embarrassing, and doesn't make for a pretty sight. I sat in abject horror and almost had this out-of-body experience where I looked at myself askance and wondered, "Who is this insane, emotionally unhinged, out of control madwoman?" as I was undergoing said meltdown. Thank god for beverage therapy, good friends, and ice cream.

Apart from some really good friends, both new and old, Pink is the only other person who's helping me deal with the disaster that was this week and helped channel my despair into rage. This song has now become my mantra:



Hope you all had a better week than I did!

Progress!

I'm finally done sorting the 503242 pictures that I took in Paris. On a Saturday night, instead of going out like the rest of the world, I'm holed up in the apartment doing this. If this doesn't prove my love for you, I don't know what will. And don't listen to those pesky rumors flying around about exhaustion and food coma being the real reason why I'm home today. It's all lies, I tell you, LIES! I'll be back tomorrow to write about it. Meanwhile, here's a taste of what's to come:



I absolutely love this picture, because it reminds me of the timeless nature of Paris. When you walk around, you can visualize how life must have been 50, 100, 500 years ago. But more on that tomorrow. For now, I'm going to be like a grandmother and go to bed at 10. On a Saturday night. Somebody please slap me.

Facebook "Like" of the week

"Inside me lives a skinny woman crying to get out...but I can usually shut the bitch up with cookies."

This week is killing me, but I'm hoping to be slightly less dead on Sunday and finally blog about Paris. Right now, my knee pain is back, my tooth hurts, and I'm googling "how to make your ear pop" because my left ear has been blocked since Monday. Now you understand why I had to finish a pint of ice cream this week? Hope you're all having a better week than I am!

Paris details

are on their way, but you'll have to wait until the weekend to hear about the crepe consumption, the thing that stood between me and creme brulee, and about taking a nap in Jardin des Tuileries. Meanwhile, here's a high level summary of the entire weekend:

It's a Hard Life

This week was supposed to be all about London and what I did there and what I ate. I figured the Land Of the Queen deserved more than one post. But things happened, as things tend to, that lead me to alter my agenda a little bit. For today is the day that I introduced a whole new set of people to the horrors of my gluttony. My friend Julie had organized a dinner for, get this, 22, that's right, TWENTY-TWO women, at my favorite(and perhaps, the only) Ethiopian restaurant in Zurich. As I am an idiot wrapped in a moron, I got lost on my way to the restaurant, even though I have been there numerous times now. Julie and Carla were standing out on the street trying to spot me. This is why I wore a bright red jacket today; I knew something like this would happen that would require me to be spotted from space. We finally united and I made my merry way into the restaurant.

The fellow vegetarians in attendance united and formed our own front. We were a varied bunch, from U.S., Canada, Germany, and Sweden. It was a great group of people and good conversation was had, with much of it centering around food, to my delight. You all remember what happened the last time I went to this restaurant. Well, this time, I decided to take it up a notch. So we got two servings, yes, two servings, of this:



When I finally stopped eating, as usual, I couldn't breath due to the food coma. I almost wanted to lie down on the couch and find the will to move again. Julie did an absolutely wonderful job organizing everything and the company was exceptional. I also caught up a bit with Jenny, whom I met on my disastrous bike trip back when I first moved here. After she was done playing hostess, I had her look at my knee, which was bothering me. She moonlights as a knee expert, so I'd highly recommend that you solicit her services when required. She did some complicated looking things with my knee and concluded that I may have some tendon inflammation in my right knee.

I don't really know what could be the cause of this knee inflammation - the only thing I can conclude is that maybe leaping across the table to get the last bite chocolate before someone else ate it may not have helped the situation. I've been asked to lie down, wrap an icepack around my knee, and perch it at an angle such that it's above my heart. So here I am, in a comically awkward position, with my laptop in my lap (but not really), looking like I'm doing more acrobats than those at a circus. Thank you, I'll be here all week.

Aaaand I'm back!

I'm back from London; had an amazing time there! It's a LOT different from what it used to be about four years ago, when I lived there for a few months. Overall, it just felt so damn good to be in a big, English-as-the-main-language city, full of hustle and bustle, and feel the beat of a big city once again. I've got loads to share, but I need to unpack, do laundry, eat, watch True Blood, watch Mad Men, have a long debate about whether or not I want to have dessert, probably end up having some dessert, and do the dishes, before I can really talk about the trip. In the mean time, one of these things didn't happen on the trip - I'll let you try and figure out which one it was:

1) I did takeout before I even reached my friend's apartment in London
2) I got a papercut on my arm
3) When doing takeout, I was asked, "Is this for two people or three?"
4) I had to wake up at 3:30am to catch the first flight back to Zurich and go to work
5) I hugged clothes in the Petite section in stores
6) I finally turned down an offer of food

Will either be back later today or most likely tomorrow with the first snippets. Until then, keep guessin'!

UPDATE: I JUST WATCHED LAST NIGHT'S EPISODE OF TRUE BLOOD AND I AM @#$%$^%$. THIS SHOW HAS TAKEN AWAY MY ABILITY TO TYPE IN LOWER CAPS. HOLY COW. WHAT AN EPISODE. SUFFICE TO SAY, DETAILS ABOUT LONDON WILL HAVE TO WAIT. WOW.