The importance of Downhill

In the pre-volcanic eruption Era, one of my friends from New York was supposed to be visiting for the weekend, so plans had been made to hang out with her. Since the volcano basically sent the world back to 1818, my long weekend suddenly opened up. I decided to go bike riding with a bunch of strangers. I'm badass like that. Actually, I found an expat group that was going for a "leisurely ride" along the river Sihl, and decided to join them for the day.



Since I don't have a bike yet, I went to the free bike rental place near the Main Train Station to rent one. At this point, I was running on schedule, which, due to my neurosis, meant I was late. My neurosis isn't under control until I'm running at least five minutes ahead of schedule. Anyway, the guy at the rental place was probably 22. He looked at me as if he had never seen a woman before. I kept asking for the bike, and he kept telling me that I was beautiful. I hadn't spent 4 hours primping myself up and had my neurotic look on, so I knew this to be a lie. He asked me how old I was, if I was married. I told him I was 32, married, and had a kid. Since I still look like I'm 16, I don't think he believed me. Anyway, many one-word answers later, I was off to the meeting point with my bike.

Due to my legendary moronity, I couldn't find the bell on my bike. Yes, the bell. So, as soon as I saw people milling about on the road, I'd get off the bike and start walking. I met up with the group and sheepishly asked them to explain to me the finer mechanics of riding a bike, like finding the bell. I didn't even want to explore the concept of gears; it was too much for me first thing in the morning. I also neglected to mention that due to my vertical challenges, the only bike I was able to rent was a Kids bike. Anyway, the group that I went riding with couldn't be nicer if they tried. They immediately warmed up to me and were extremely welcoming. There was also the cutest 5 year old in the group. I felt a strong kinship with him because our bikes were pretty much the same size.

So once enough people had arrived, we went off on our ride. I started well enough, but at the slightest incline, I would get off my bike and walk it up the incline. It was embarrassing because even the 5year old would ride the bike up the incline! A couple of the riders told me that my gears were too high for the incline and patiently explained to me the basics of working the gears. I mentally fell at their feet in gratitude.

About thirty minutes into the bike ride, I started to feel hungry. Some people are born ready. I was born hungry. Thankfully, there was at least one other person who shared my love of food and voiced my thoughts about stopping for a coffee break. I promptly threw my support behind her. Since we were all badasses for going on a long bike ride, we found a perfect spot that would reflect our said badassery: A coffee shop inside a Home and Garden store. Fed and emotionally satisfied, we continued our leisurely ride.



Until now, the ride was mostly flat and along Sihl river, with scenic views of faraway mountains and cute little houses. We were all chatting with each other and generally having a great time. For lunch, we found a nondescript spot by the river in Sihlbrugg. According to Google Maps, we were sitting under a Blue dot, but none of us could find that dot.

After lunch, things got interesting. The leisurely ride started turning not-so-leisurely. We started encountering inclines, that turned into slopes. "Well, this is Switzerland. Slopes are a part of the package," I said to myself. But pretty soon, the slopes became the package itself! After one point, my fatness overpowered my pride, causing me to get off the bike and just walk it uphill. Thankfully, some of the others did the same, probably to give me company. I also would like to state that rumors of old men bypassing us on their bikes as we walked ours uphill are categorically untrue. There is no pictorial proof of such things having happened, which means they never happened. Another rumor to debunk: reports of the 5 year old riding the bike uphill as I walked mine are also untrue. I don't know who's telling you these things; you better not listen to them.

After nearly 40 min. of walking the bike uphill, my will to live started to diminish. Only thoughts of eating the Movenpick icecream sitting in my freezer kept me going. Everyone else was definitely more physically fit than I was, which made me want to slap myself (after I had that Movenpick, of course). The father of the 5 year old carried his bike, the kid's bike, and the kid uphill. Me, I could barely carry my jacket. The views from up the hill were absolutely breathtaking. Have a look at some of what we encountered:



Here's me and and the fat:



We found ourselves up the Hirzel mountain area and took some pictures at Schieregg, which is a scenic view point. The volcanic cloud covers much of the mountains, but the view was still quite pretty:



We stopped for coffee and I blurted out that I would go back and eat a pint of Ice-cream. One of the men in the group asked me if it was a woman thing to talk about ice-cream in pints. I was too embarrassed to tell him that it was a me thing, so I heartily agreed. I also learned an important lesson: What goes up must come down. So finally, after we could go no higher, we started going Downhill. Now, when you have spent nearly two hours going up a hill that you didn't expect to go when you began the bike ride centuries ago, downhill is the best gift that you could ever ask for. So we went downhill from Schieregg, all the way to Wadenswil Train station, which is to the south of Zurich city. By then, I had started to just blurt out food-related words. Thankfully, we decided to take the train back to Zurich.

All in all, we covered about 15-20 miles, and that's not even including the hills. By the time I got back, parts of my body had lost all feeling. I soaked in the tub for a bit, and as promised, had that Movenpick, right out of the container. Then I passed out for a good ten hours. Even though the "leisurely ride" almost induced a heart attack, I had an amazing time. Met some wonderful people, felt some deep embarrassment, and fended off a persistent bike rental guy. All in all, not a bad way to spend a sunny Saturday!