Before we really discuss this divine meeting, lets travel back in time. Lets travel back to a time when trees were still covered with snow. A time when it was still dark at eight in the morning, when three layers of clothing were mandatory. A time we shall call March of 2010. The world was different back then. I was still in New York, even though I was already working on Zurich projects. Back then, I had one work email address: j.d@xyz.com. As I was about to move to Zurich, all my email and personal folders also had to be migrated over to the Zurich systems. Somewhere, somehow, I got a new email address: j.p.d@xyz.com.
Pay attention kids, because in the grand scheme of things, this is the most important piece of information: Since March 2010, I have had two email addresses. I, until now, had only used my existing j.d@xyz.com. The Zurich based j.p.d@xyz.com was something that was just there. Unfortunately, slowly but surely, more and more emails started being sent to j.p.d. I had no way of accessing the j.p.d email account, for reasons that I don't even want to get into, for fear of being inflicted with self-induced trauma again. Anyway, kind souls at work made me aware of j.p.d@xyz.com. To P or not to P became the question. I also liked the idea of actually getting all the emails that were intended for me, and not having them disappear in the vortex of Microsoft. So, I decided I didn't want the P.
Fastforward to April 5, 2010. I made a seemingly innocent request to the powers that be: please shut down j.p.d@xyz.com and make j.d@xyz.com my default and only email address. I was told that this would happen over the weekend, and come Monday morning, life would be the way it was always meant to be.
And today, kids, was that Monday. I went to work, beckoning in a new era in Microsoft Outlook, or so I thought. Imagine my shock and horror when I went to work and realized that nothing happened over the weekend! The world had not changed! There was still j.d and j.p.d! I frantically called over three different Helpdesks, and desperately tried to convey my trauma. But alas, no one knew what I was talking about. Desperate, I decided to close Outlook and relaunch it, hoping for a miracle. So close it I did. And when I relaunched it, this is what confronted me:
"Why didn't you just click OK?" you ask. "Why, thank you for that enlightening suggestion," I sarcastically say. I did click OK. The prompt wouldn't go away. I decided to try something radical and clicked "Cancel". The prompt still stayed. By this point, I had sent out an S.O.S to pretty much everyone in the organization, hoping to find a savior. But I was starting to lose hope. Depression had set in. And that's when it happened.
As I put my head down on my desk in despair, and angelic looking old gentleman with white hair and white beard came up to me and asked, "What bothers you, my child?" Ok he may have said something like, "I'm here to look into your email issues" but I know that's what he meant. As I looked up to him, I saw the halo on his head. Some people may call it floor lighting, but I know a halo when I see one. That's when I knew that I would be saved. And save me he did. This person made something magical happen. He gave me access to both email addresses! I could now respond to people on the P id, who probably thought I was extremely rude for never having replied to their emails. The white haired halo man who made all this possible, Ladies and Gentlemen, was God. That angelic figure who saved me from the Evil Forces of Outlook was the benevolent, all knowing GOD. At a time when hope had been abandoned, he arrived to restore faith. He arrived to defeat Evil.
But, his fight is not over. For tomorrow is another day. Night may have fallen, but the battle has not ended. Tomorrow, we take on the task of shutting down j.p.d and ensuring that only j.d remains. Tomorrow is the battle of Man of God versus the Windows of Microsoft. Will Good survive? Or will Evil rule? Come back for the sequel to find out how it all ends.
May the Force be with you. Amen.
GOD, I MISS YOU! *ROTFLMFAO*
ReplyDeleteI can't wait to read more about meetings with God!